Tina Fey named one of the Top Entertainers of 2008

Entertainment Weekly has counted the votes and the result is unanimous. Tina Fey, with her slanted smile and comedic smarts, is at the top of the list of awesome entertainers for 2008. Fey is infallible. Her work on 30 Rock, a critically acclaimed sitcom, received three Emmy awards this year. The show alone, a situational comedy with wacky digressions and colorful, characters proves that her talent tops the league of TV writers. I mean, c'mon, this woman endeared Sarah Palin to America, with her spot on impersonation of the clueless politician--the tight smile and nasally midwestern accent. That didn't help Palin's chances at all, but Fey managed to impersonate the former-beauty-queen-turned-governor with a lot of class. She also signed a book deal with Little, Brown Book Group this past October said to be worth 5 million dollars. Obviously, Fey had this one in the bag. To be named one of EW's top entertainers is the least of her accomplishments.

Kim of the Real Housewives of Atlanta is Destroyed on the Reunion Show

The BravoTV machine has been cranking out money-made celebrities with their drama-filled, addictive series "The Real Housewives." Kim Zolciak, the Barbie blonde, chain-smoking star of the Atlanta version provided the flaw addled keystone on which the entertaining, trash-talking reunion showed relied on. It was no surprise. Zolciak is an easy target with her larger than life plasticized shiny weave, her aspirations of becoming a country music star with vocal chords that burn from twenty cigarettes a day, and the mystery behind her benefactor, a supposedly married man.
In response to the attacks made on her hair, she pointed to a past illness she linked with cancer, but later admitted that it was not actually cancer. She did not, however, explain why a hair piece that screams fake would be a attractive alternative to a more modest hairpiece. Viewers reveled in the embarrassing scenes where Kim in the studio with producer Dallas Austin heard her husky cigarette cracked voice in her ear clear as a bell. And she was stunned that she could not carry a tune. Stunned but not completely discouraged. Her relationship with "Big Papa," the enigmatic man-friend who sponsors Kim's Dior and diamond addictions doesn't do much to improve her reputation. When Nene Leakes, the most unashamedly outspoken housewife, spat that Zolciak was a hooker, it rang out all too true. By the end of the show, although fully amused, I wondered how someone like Zolciak will manage to recover from a nation-wide verbal throttling as many viewers comments/insults were included.

But Season Two is in the works and Zociak made it a point to mention that her single is due out January 2009 and her album shortly after. Anyone who heard Kim in the studio knows that she must have endured thirty hours of voice coaching a week to make it work. What's more probable is that her producer did some million dollar magic to turn the pitch-less sliver of a voice into a full-fledged instrument to be showcased in an album. Assuredly more embarrassments, disappointments, and ugly scenes are on the way. I, for one, will be there enjoy it.

Five Entertainment Trends

1. Adding another sparkling new reality series "First Class All the Way" to the bunch of shows about rich people spending boatloads of money, BravoTV has yet again tapped into the worst of their viewers' sensibilities: a desperate, drooling envy.
2. Thanks to the vigor of their promotional team, Scion has become popular among young people for more than just their design-it-yourself, slick-looking cars. They have joined up with the hip, still undergroundish magazine, Vice, to throw free shows and film showings in major cities around the US, including Austin.
3. In the ashes of the X'ed out raver scene, techno was born again wearing American Apparel and quirky, neon green sunglasses. A flood of DJs from Los Angeles and Europe are resurrecting electronic dance music and drowning the well-dressed masses in it its addictive and glamorous sheen.
4.It's going to be hilarious. Vince Vaughn plays a cynical, foul-mouthed still adorable kinda guy and his love interest is (insert name of lovable actress here). But something comes between them. Their families are absolutely nuts and Vince gets sprayed with vomit, or gets kicked in the groin or... wait, haven't I seen this movie before? The formulaic romantic comedy is going strong and here to stay. (And so are Mr. Vaughn's fat paychecks.)
5. Part of "being green" is not just about fuel efficiency but knowing what you eat. New restaurants proclaim organic, all natural meals and ingredients. But do they actually qualify?

St. Ed's Homepage All Sorts of Messed Up

I noticed a couple of weeks ago that St. Edward's had changed the picture on their homepage. I realize it's important that they update consistently, to show students, parents, and alumni what's new and what's happening on campus. Usually the pictures are of smiling students, some of them recognizable (which never surprises me--it is a tiny campus), sitting on a grassy patch, you know, just learning to think, mouths open in broad smiles.

So why does the new picture on their homepage look like a scene from a Lifetime movie?? A naive students falls into a dangerous relationship with her Chemistry teacher. Is it just lust or can their love survive against all odds?


Thanks to the myriad of courses I've taken that have forced me to wear an analytical lens, I can say that this picture is rhetorically wrong in so so many ways.
Who is the young woman and what exactly is she saying with her eyes to her professor? Look closely. Her dark eyes are half lidded, thickly lined and she could be listening attentively, sure, but I think her face says other things. And that's not just me being perverse! The point is, we're left to figure it out for ourselves because there's nothing, not even a caption to put this scene into context. Are these two learning to think or learning to do something else?

And, what does the Homecoming, which I would suppose may be the context of this picture (??) have to do with the scene. Wouldn't it be more effective to emphasize the fact that Homecoming is approaching with a picture of the past Homecoming?

Seeing a group of toothy students enjoying the lawn never gave me problems. I suggest the next time St. Ed's updates their page, the person in charge gets a second opinion before putting up a picture that has people wondering...

Leftover Crack @ Fun Fun Fun Fest

I had been jonesing to see a good hair-thrashing, fist-raising punk rock show for a while. So when I joined the large crowd that gathered before Leftover Crack at FunFunFun Fest, my eyes watered with joy as I watched Stza Crack, the archetypal punk, swig from a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Label in between songs, as he spewed anarchist principles (F**K the government, F**K the police, F**K Texas!) Half-full beer cans flew in sporadic arches as Stza and his band mates sang, their shrieks tearing into the souls of pious punk fans as their ska-punk tunes made the entire crowd bounce. Brief interludes gave the skinny, tattooed Stza time to reminisce on the past, his former drug habit and of his recent clash with the cops. (Earlier this year, Stza was arrested during one of their shows in their stomping grounds of New York for throwing an entire box of donuts at the police.) Although Leftover Crack’s profound animosity toward the police may be their least articulate point with catchy anthems like "One Dead Cop," Leftover Crack has been a radical voice for nearly two decades with its message of utter anarchy meshed with commentary of social injustice. Stza gabbed candidly with the crowd, making it no secret that he was planning on getting sloshed during the show and also that he had some beef with the apparently homophobic HR of the much-revered Bad Brains. How characteristic of Mr. Crack to undermine one of the punk rock gods, when other bands that appeared on stage that day sang praises. Despite the raucous punks and the hard aerial objects overhead, the energy Leftover Crack invested into each of their songs made this one of the most personable, intimate shows I have seen yet. It was, without a doubt, the perfect punk rock fix.

Fun Fun Fun Fest Vignettes

Four o' clock on a sunny Saturday, I was standing smack dab in the middle of Austin at Waterloo Park watching Octopus Project plug in guitars and Korg keyboards, arranging the tall, sheet covered ghosts that hovered behind them. As my sister and I speculated whether or not the cartoonish, happy boxes were robots, the drummer kicked off the first song and an intricate melody sprang to life. Having never seen the Octopus Project live, I was immediately impressed by the way the group intertwined all sounds-- the brash guitar, the dreamlike chime of the keyboard, the pleasurably incessant drum machine and the unfiltered energy of the drummer. When Yvonne brought out the theremin, an instrument you can play without touching, I was sold. The players embodied a constant, cheerful energy, constantly switching instruments, showing the extent of their musicianship . At the climax of the show, when the ghosts suddenly jumped to life, swaying and bouncing their little boxy heads to the beats, I was sure that for the Octopus Project, I would hide under a sheet for twenty minutes just to be on stage with them. The thoughts one has while drunk on an aurally stimulating experience.

A tiny segment I videotaped of Yvonne playing the theremin:

Barack Obama Elected President

A collective sigh of relief ensues.

Anxiety ate at me all day, and unlike many people who were able to sit in front of the TV and track the votes, I couldn't be too concerned what with a paper to work on, readings to do, and work.

A half-hour after I got home, my sister yelled to me as I was in my bedroom changing that Obama had won. His face was on television, underneath a caption that read "Obama Elected President." It was all over, simple as that. In some ways it was anti-climatic, but in an entirely, worry-free perfect kind of way. Strange how historic moments can slide right by if you don't stop to actually think about it.

Now he can sleep for ten days straight. Imagine the toll a campaign takes on the human body, the mind, the nerves. He'll need lots of rest for the ugly mess that awaits him.

In Anticipation of Election Day

My professor mentioned this morning that approximately 30% of registered voters in Travis County have already voted, a statistic that gave me pleasurable glimmer of hope. According to the Austin American Statesmen, 440,000 voters were expected to vote early. This estimate takes into account the growing number of early voters seen in the past two elections. In 2000, 47 % of registered votes cast their ballots early. Four years later, the number rose almost 20%. It's no surprise that they've reasoned that at least 50% of Travis County voters will have already voted by election day, if not more.

So I think Brother Perron got it wrong. That number just has to be bigger.

What's better is that already 20 million people have voted nationwide and most of these votes are cast for Democratic candidate, Barack Obama. Austin, a city known as the oasis of blue in a desert of red, must reflect that trend. In other words, the majority of ballots that have already been cast in Travis County were no doubt for Obama, a result of his imploring voters to vote early during his campaign.

Obama played his cards right. I only hope that hiccups in the voting process won't lead to a deeply disappointing surprise when all is counted, said and done.

I decided to vote on Halloween, down the street from St. Edward's at the Texas Juvenile Probation Commission off of S. Congress. Even though I had to wait in line to change my address and left without even being offered one of those sweet "I voted" stickers, I was still glowing.

Owen Egerton's Annual Halloween Bash

Opting out of observing downtown debauchery and drunkenness, I decided to hit up the S. Lamar Alamo Drafthouse for "Owen Egerton's 4th Annual Halloween 4 Bash." I figured
1)If Egerton has anything to do with this showing, it will be hilarious. (As an improvisational comedian, writer, and fixture at the Alamo Drafthouse, Egerton makes his living making people laugh.)
2) The costume contest and free candy promised to provide my Halloween fix. 
3) There's nothing better than watching a laughably bad movie and being able to make fun of it while you watch it---hopefully while you are half-drunk.

I was delighted to see a line of people waiting outside the theater dressed to the nines in store bought and homemade designs. It made me feel less weird for looking like Stevie Nicks in a black wispy number I scored from the clearance rack at the Megaplexxx. It was supposed to be a sexy witch costume, but in reality was the only halfway modest costume I could find in the store.

Standing in front of us were a well-dressed matador and his bull, a girl with two grand papier mache horns arched around her face, draped with ivory beads and small flowers. Behind us I spied an alien with plastic toxic green hair and huge, shiny gold sunglasses and down the line I saw spitting images of the Republican presidential candidates. I evaluated my crew: a panda, a leather daddy, and a cowboy. We weren't winning any contests that night.

We filed into the theater and took our seats. As the Alamo Drafthouse website had mentioned, there was indeed a "live stalker" in our midst. A putty-faced Michael Myers meandered around, glinting the light of a huge silver kitchen knife on the faces of innocent onlookers. Egerton, dressed in a little kid's polka-dotted clown costume (probably creepier than the movie itself) pelted the audience with Tootsie rolls before running to the front to introduce the movie. Egerton likes the movie. He revealed the strange, illogical timeline that has Michael Myers returning from the dead, time and time again persevering through full-body explosions and barrages of bullets. Halloween 4 was different though, he claimed. It was better than you expected.

This statement proved to false. And it was a tragedy that Egerton didn't indulge us with much more than his own perspective of the movie remarking that it was a social commentary while still being completely ridiculous. My attention wandered thanks to the predictable screenwriting and I still only have a shady understanding of the movie. We walked out of the film feeling unfulfilled except for the buttery popcorn that lined our bellies.

Things could have turned around. Live Oak Brewery was sponsoring the event, and so there was a free keg of cold, tasty beer awaiting the Halloween 4 Bashers at Sinsations, an adult boutique off of S. 1st Street. Apparently, the plan was to drink free beer while surrounded by rubber sex toys and swings. Besides what I could see on the movie covers, not much action was going on and the place emptied quickly. Perhaps if Egerton had led us in a game of Dildo Ring Toss (which was set up on a table in a enticing multi-colored spectacle), or offered another source of diversion, the party could have carried on. Instead, after enjoying a free beer, we left with the disconcerting familiarity of every single rubber whatsit that was hanging on the bare walls.